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PETA: Animal Rights, and McCruelty

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has been in the news again.  So, let me get this straight; PETA is against animal cruelty, right?  That’s why they have this ongoing McCruelty campaign complaining about the way chickens are “murdered” so we can eat McNuggets at McDonald’s, right?  PETA McCrulety

Well, I have a few questions about all this.  First, when the child of a prominent Hollywood star and supporter of PETA gets head lice from friends at school, do they pick up something from the pharmacy to kill the lice?  What about the other kinds of parasites that can inhabit humans: tapeworms, roundworms, pin worms, liver flukes – there are lots of them.  (I know this is gross, but these are important issues.)  Perhaps Hollywood families and other PETA supporters are never exposed to any of the sources where you can get these parasites; I hope so.  But if they really want all animal life to be treated with equality, they must have some time to lie down with the dog and cat from time to time.  Do they go to the doctor and hire him or her to kill the parasites?  What about the dog and cat, for that matter?  When your dog gets heart worm or fleas it must be a real moral dilemma for members of PETA.

These are legitimate questions because the toxins and poisons they may purchase from a pharmacy are designed to kill these little human companions.  Surely if you spend a few moments thinking about what a caustic substance does when one of these little guys encounters it, it’s pretty gruesome.  It scalds their skin right off, cute little worms and lice writhing in pain, and in the end, they die!  (Perhaps in their archives, PETA has undercover pictures of these creatures in their death throes.)  I think we are driven to one of two conclusions: either they do not kill these beloved members of the animal world in which case, you should never get too close to supporters of PETA; or they do kill them, in which case they are guilty of outright discrimination.  This is problematic because Ingrid Newkirk, President of PETA is famous for having said, ”A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. They’re all animals. …” so they are officially on record as opposing discrimination.  (Although as a guy, I did pick up a bit of gender bias in that quote.)  Think of it! members of PETA discriminating! dying to save chickens, but killing lice with no regard whatsoever.  (Well, now, PETA discriminating…that… just doesn’t sound right for some reason – sounds like it might be an oxymoron.  I’m not sure.)

My second question regarding supporters of PETA is whether or not they bathe; showers or baths, it doesn’t matter.  As your mom correctly taught you, taking a bath gets rid of the bacteria, and other small members of the animal kingdom that land on your skin, set up shop, have lunch, make baby bacteria, and so on.  The only real reason for bathing with some frequency (aside from enjoying the act of lying in the warm water) is to kill millions of these human companions.  An associated area of concern would be the use of mouthwash.  Do they have any idea of how agonizing it is for bacteria when you swish Listerine around in your mouth FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF WANTONLY KILLING THEM?  Most people bathe, and brush so when they are with friends their friends don’t kill them.  Perhaps that’s why PETA people only hang around with other PETA people; after a period of time you get used to it. 

There is another issue of credibility, and that goes to the use of deodorants.  A deodorant is designed by scientists for the sole purpose of killing bacteria!  It’s like pesticide - Egad!  For most of us this it seems reasonable to use deodorant, because one of the side effects of the accumulation of too many generations of bacteria along with the; uh.. detritus of their life-cycle is that you stink.  We admit it publicly: the murder of millions of the these critters is not a matter of great moral concern to us, but we frequently have to listen to the lectures of members and supporters of PETA, so I think the questions are legitimate.  Don’t you?

My third area of concern is whether or not any of the supporters of PETA slap a mosquito when they become a target.  Now, this question can easily be expanded: do they slap a mosquito when it is about to bite their own child?  Do any of them use those mosquito-zappers when they are visiting one of their vacation homes in the Rockies, or Ozarks; do they stay in a resort that uses a zapper when they are on safari in Africa?  Seems to me like they should support the mosquito population by freely providing a tiny amount of their blood to facilitate reproduction – they’re all part of the one big family.  Not that I’m encouraging this…

Then, of course, there are flies; do any of these people own a fly swat?  Do they use the sadistic flypaper?  My question is, if not, why not?  Now, most of us are concerned about the spread of what we would – with some insensitivity – call disease; but I wonder about members of PETA.  Consider moths that may invade their homes, bedbugs (which I understand can be found at some of the posh hotels where these people stay), fleas – magnificent little creatures, have you ever seen them jump and do circus acts?  Amazing.  Then there are beetles, ants, wasps, spiders, and other critters that can all be found in a PETA member’s bedroom.  All God’s creatures great and small…

I am concerned about supporters of PETA, though.  I have to admit that I have never been close – as far as my nose could tell – to one of these people, but I do think if they preach to us about how to treat the members of the animal kingdom, they should at least practice what they preach.  I admit it; I love to eat barbecued chicken, beef, and pork.  Now, I know that involves animals that have been killed and butchered so I can enjoy my meal.  (At least - I tell myself - they weren’t zapped, poisoned, squashed, or pesticided to death!)  But these animal people! they scrupulously refrain from eating meat, chicken, or fish; but they are monsters! they are willing to kill billions of bacteria, and thousands of parasites: flies, lice, worms, bedbugs, spiders, and mosquitoes FOR NO PURPOSE AT ALL!  Perhaps if they ate them, it would make some sense.  Well…  But no…who am I to judge? 

One of the ways these people seek to get their message across is to go naked through the streets or a store declaring that they refuse to wear anyone else’s skin.  I have not seen the whole naked deal – it’s usually blurred out where I watch TV, but it looks like some of these women are quite attractive.  However when you consider their consistent refusal to kill animals, it would be advisable for us not to get too close – especially if you’re behind on your vaccinations.  Might want to stay upwind too.

I admit I have had reservations about posting these thoughts – you never know who may be reading the blog.  Perhaps these people haven’t been educated about the suffering they bring to lice, fleas, roundworms, flies, bedbugs, and liver flukes; and if they choose to follow the truly consistent path, the rest of us may have more to fear than we previously thought.  Er… Honey, where are the children?